Boise State Men's Golf Assistant Coach. Boise State Kinesiology and Athletic Leadership Master's Program. Golf, Boise State, Athletics, Education, Leadership, College Golf
July 12 2017
“Crucible: a transformative experience through which an individual comes to a new or an altered sense of identity” (Warren Bennis & Robert Thomas)
In our society, we are all consciously and unconsciously continuously playing a role (or multiple roles). We take positions within our daily lives – we have acquired those roles from communication, observation and action. We learn from our life experiences and we adjust according to the situation. Doctor, Teacher, Chef, Babysitter, Customer, et cetera.
Sometimes, we are just doing and acting “what we are supposed to do.” Other times, we are acting because it is required, or it is perceived to be a requirement. There are moments in life when must react to the situation and take the role of cool, confident, collected and unafraid. How many times have you heard or said the phrase, “Don’t worry, everything is going to be fine” even though that is not a guarantee? Faking it is different compared to acting - but who is to judge the difference? Why does “faking it” have a negative connotation where as “acting” is understood, if not praised? Personally, I think that role playing is an innate characteristic of human beings. We are able to express our values through roles – we are able to change our roles as well.
During my 502 Athletic Leadership class, my professor Dr. Jeremiah Shinn brought up a potentially uncomfortable subject to my peers – what are your deficiencies, weaknesses and vulnerabilities? Without using this specific word, it popped up in my mind; Insecurities. Needless to say, those inquiries were rhetorical questions; answers not for the teacher, or my classmates, but just for myself.
As humans, we make things tough on ourselves. It is easy to attempt to dismiss those times of suffering and pain. We attempt to bottle it up deep in our mind and soul, FedEx it overnight to Mars, and lie to ourselves that it never happened (or that it wasn’t really that significant.) In your heart of hearts, you know that won’t work. You cannot dismiss a personal fact that has emotional and psychological significance. What has been seen cannot be unseen, what has been learned cannot be unknown. You cannot change the past. However, we can absolutely learn from it and we can grow from it.
At a certain level of maturity, an individual understands that everyone has had significant suffering in life. What comes goes around comes around, and suffering is not a “one and done” experience. Suffering is different to each individual. Some suffering is easily defined, and other times the suffering is hidden in memory. Family, friends, peers and other human beings will try their best to ease the pain and suffering for you. Perhaps time itself is one of the most soothing cures.
Or maybe, you need to explain your suffering to yourself. Tell your personal trials and tribulations to yourself. As purely as you possibly can. You can’t lie to yourself because you can’t fake it to yourself. Express those core emotions, frustration, anger, sadness and thinking process to yourself. Try to make it specific; challenge yourself to express the right words. Why was this crucible (or crucibles) so significant, so influential for you? You may recognize that it is very tough to tell your story to an audience with a pre-determined role - The Victim. But if you can tell it to yourself, innocently from the heart and soul… oh man, you will amaze yourself. You will build confidence in yourself. You may acquire a sense of accomplishment, enlightenment, understanding and closure.
Professor Shinn passed around a diagram in class that was extremely helpful for me. The questions challenged me and helped me understand more about myself. The process was called the “crucible exercise.” I encourage anyone to try it out and use pencil and paper. You may even share it with your friends , family and peers.
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